Can't wait

It's Tuesday night, and I'm counting the hours until we go to our ultrasound appointment this Thursday!

I am feeling a little calmer since the last time I wrote. After my last post, I got a Facebook message from my sister-in-law (the one who's expecting.) I wrote her back and totally unloaded on her, but, bless her, she just graciously wrote back encouragements. She may not understand where I'm coming from, but she is kind enough to hang in there with me anyway.

I am worried about my friendship with a close friend who I still haven't told about the pregnancy. We only met a year ago, but we hit it off right away, and spend a lot of time together. At first I didn't tell her about the pregnancy out of the same fear that kept me from spilling the beans to my folks too soon--I wanted to make sure the pregnancy progressed normally, and wanted minimal excitement/expectation, since I already had enough of my own to deal with. Every week I would make up some excuse to wait a little longer. To be fair, my other fear was based on the fact that she and I have both experienced fertility problems, and I fear her reaction to the news.
After my last OB appt. (at 10 weeks), I was ready to tell her. However, that same week an old friend of hers came to stay with her for two weeks. I felt like telling her in the presence of this friend was somehow imposing. This past weekend she left, and then my friend's grandmother passed away...so again, not the right time. I feel like a jerk. I wanted her to be amoung the first people to know about this, and now she is going to end up being one of the last! I can't help but wonder if she senses something is up and perhaps already figured it out. She's no dummy! That makes me feel even worse. I don't know how to make this right.

On the plus side, today was a good day. I went to work, went to the gym, made dinner, and had an invigorating conversation about politics with my husband. My appetite is back, and things feel relatively...normal! Seems like it's been forever since I had a day like today! I hope there are more to come.

I still snuck a few belly checks...couldn't help myself :)