It's Thursday morning, the last day of my work week, and I'm feeling frustrated and nauseous. I was on the road for work yesterday, and I think my food choices are haunting me. The nausea combined with a very tumultous night's sleep is giving me the overwhelming desire to call the boss and tell him I won't be in. But I know that wouldn't be fair to him or my co-workers--we're already so thinly staffed. Still, I feel like I need, if nothing else, an emotional break. It's been a long week, and I have a long weekend ahead. My parents are coming up and I will be telling them about the pregnancy. I'm still so nervous when it comes to telling people, especially those I know it will affect most (family, close friends). What if something happens? I'm afraid to get everyone's hopes up. After several years of trying and cycles of fertility treatments and tests, we'd pretty much given up on getting pregnant. This pregnancy is a beautiful gift that was dropped almost casually onto our laps by...who? God? It still seems too good to be true.
We found out that my sister-in-law is also expecting her first child. She's about a week ahead of me I think. She just got her first ultrasound and posted the pictures on her blog and Facebook page. Ever since I got a glimpse of what my baby should look like, I cannot pacify myself with just hearing my baby's heartbeat at the next prenatal appt. No...I, too, MUST see my baby! I need, if not reassurance, visible PROOF that the little pooch I'm sporting is housing something real. Plus, what mother doesn't want pictures of her child to show people?
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